Offline Post #2

So this lack of being able to be online is taking some getting used to. See, I’m in Melbourne now and I’m living with my aunt and uncle and lets just say that they are a very conservative bunch, which roughly translates to no Harry Potter for the kids, 8:30 bed times and yes, limited internet access. I have ONE gigabyte of internet resources at my disposal which is practically peanuts, so bar going on facebook occasionally, checking my mail and Soccernet there really isn’t much internet to go round. Seriously, one gigabyte of data for one month is nigh impossible, which explains my current internet anonymity.

Its close to a month since I’ve started working at Edelman and it has been a great experience. Lots of ups and downs, being put on interesting projects but also doing a lot of menial (but absolutely essential) tasks such as media lists and media calls have made it a very interesting affair. So far, I’ve got to write a few things(score!), conduct and write up an interview(booyah!) and do quite a bit of stakeholder mapping(love love love), applying for permits(keeps me up at night) and all, so yeah, I’ve really learned a lot. Downers would be having to be placed in a remote area of the office which kinda sucks, but its all going to be rectified tomorrow(woot!) so yeah. Three more weeks ago, oh yeahhh.

Anne came over last weekend and it was probably one of my favourite weekends ever. It was extremely nice being able to meet her for my brief lunch break at Grill’d, seeing her right after work, Bennet’s Lane jazz club as a late quadniversary shindig. Bennet’s lane was really good, we had a Spanish flamenco jazz band, I’ve never heard Flamenco before and it was quite good.

Fortune was with us and we had a really good jazz pianist which Anne really enjoyed. And of course there was Great Ocean Road which was fast both in the sense that it was quite a quick trip and also in the sense that I got to hit blistering speeds of oh maybe 180ks an hour. Fun stuff. But for me the best part of it all was just being able to come home to her after work. Being the first and last person I get to see for three days was so much more than I could’ve asked for. And i loved every bit of the brief time that we had.


As it has always been, time together was just never quite enough.


Listenin' to : One A Night Like This by Dave Barnes

Cowabunga much?

Went to Torquay today with my extended family. Its totally a surfer's town with the major surfing labels, Ripcurl, Billabong, Quiksilver et al being headquartered there and having massive factory direct stores as well. It is also the gateway to the Great Ocean Road, possibly my favourite scenic locale in the whole world(not like I've seen much of the world, but I was legitimately blown away) and all.

So it was supposed to be a hot day today but the weather had other plans and it was a lot colder than a lot of people expected. Definitely not the most favourable beach conditions. But the beach is the beach, and though the winds were extremely chilly today, the beach is the beach and the beach is always an awesome place to be at.

We went to the major surf beach at Torquay, not Bells Beach because Bells Beach is for pros and I'd probably die there if I tried, which is something Anne would definitely not approve of. The beach, cleverly named Surf Beach was packed with people, cause its you know, Australia Day and stuff. Aunty Linda got back her surfboard she used as a young girl so we got to play with that and by play I mean, I got to surf a little. Well, I tried at least, haha.

It was really cool, and after awhile it became a little easier to catch the waves. Standing up however is a totally different ball game. A lot harder than it looks and I got to stand up like only once and even then for a few seconds only. Anyhoo, it was heaps heaps heaps fun although there were some asdfghjkl times when I caught some really sweet waves, was positioned perfectly and had optimum balance on the board, was riding it to shore and lo and flipping behold, some kid with a boogie board or some bogan surfer would be there and I'd either have to crash into them (which I did, crashed into a kid but I was hurt more than him) or just evade and end up tumbling under water being tossed by the waves.

So yeah, it was really fun, and I'd love to do it again.

and tomorrow, Anne arrives in Melbourne :)

Today's Day at Church

I've been convincing myself that I'm worthwhile
Cause I'm worth what I'll convince myself to be

(If You Want It)

Relient K's Forget and Not Slow Down is starting to get to me. It is the saddest Relient K record ever. Seeing as how Matt Thiessen made the album in the midst of an engagement that fell through, I'm starting to see the inspiration behind his songs. Its a good listen.

I liked today at church because of one song. The message was great, but what spoke to me most was the song they sung.

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Today I was once again faced by an old nemesis, where the ghosts of so much in the past had to choose to come back and torment me. It's not the same this time. There is actually more to leave to God. I know I've said before that I'm better equipped to deal with these things now, but sometimes.. It just gets too much for me and I succumb to the whispers and suggestions of the accuser. Sometimes i need God. Because all I am is far from enough.

Today was one such day.

Today I was sapped of my strength, but I thank God for today, because... I was reminded of the line of the hymn... that

"No other fount I know, nothing but the blood of Jesus"

Listenin' to : the tennis! Roddick and Gonzales.

If it wasn't for stupid decisions, you wouldn't have any nice stories to tell.

This is the first time in my life that I’ve been alone in my life. I mean going to Adelaide and all wasn’t that huge of a transition, what with knowing that I’ll have few classmates to start off with, living with one of my college mates and having the rest really close to me made it feel a lot like home.

So yeah, even though I’m living with family here, this is the first time that I’ve been dropped in an area that is devoid of a plentiful supply of people to hang out with. My nights are mostly spent at home after work, I don’t have opportunities to yumcha and just hang out with people. My internet connectivity is limited due to quota issues so yeah, I haven’t been this disconnected in my life before.

It’s not a bad thing almost two weeks into it and I haven’t really felt the sting of isolation yet but this being tossed into a strange foreign place with no friends is a lot like how I should have supposed to feel studying abroad. Yeah I know, a year late, but better late than never. It’s like… I came to Australia with close to 600 gigs of stuff to watch, because I anticipated that I would need all of that after hearing of so many stories of my predecessors but upon arriving in Adelaide, I hardly watched anything. In fact apart from HIMYM and South Park, the only other series I’ve managed to clear was The Office.

So this is all very new to me, its not a bad thing and I guess I will have to get used to it. Talking on the phone with Anne is always..always the highlight of my day. Which is weird, because considering our history, talking on the phone is something we’ve never done on this scale before. True story! I mean before this it was always on MSN or either meeting in person, but now with my internet quota and all thatI hardly get the chance to go online, so yeah, the phones are all we’ve got. Which is great, because hearing her voice whenever always.. always makes my day :)

I know this LDR thing is serious business and the number of relationships that get decimated because of distance is staggering. The odds might seem insurmountable and all, and you’d normally be crazy to think about surviving an LDR but so far, two weeks into it, I think we’re doing okay. This is something we can definitely win. One of the things I was looking forward to in this LDR was the opportunity to grow together, where even though we can’t be together physically, would present the chance for us to grow more intimate with one another on an emotional and maybe also spiritual level. And I can say that yeah, so far, its been going very well.
Work has been good, it was a pretty mish mash week, with some days being terrible busy and challenging and some really slow days as well. But so far its okay, I’m holding my own in a Caucasian company, in a Caucasian country and it hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. Anyway, I am starting to reach the realization that my student days are way behind me, and this is going to be the rest of my life for me, hahaha. Shirts and slacks, morning commutes, one hour lunch breaks, eye strain from staring at a computer all day, leaving the office as 5ish. Wash rinse repeat.

It’s so important to not let my life and purpose be consumed by the rigid monotony that can be working life. Now I know why nearly everyone on my morning commute has the equivalent of brick wall for facial expressions. Forgetting what I’m working for, forgetting who I’m working for, forgetting the paramount purpose of doing all of this could be potentially devastating to my soul and well being. Which is something I will strive to be vigilant of at all times, because my heart and the core of who I am, my desires, passion and purpose is something I will not compromise for no one. I do not intend on becoming just another cynical working adult. I know.. idealistic talk from a wee 20 year old. But yeah… that’s my game plan and I totally intend on seeing it through.

Listenin’ to : No Reaction by Relient K

Dumblr

Micro blogging is something I don't believe in. Okay fine, because of the nature of my work (Edelman Melbourne does a ton of social media monitoring) I've learned to see that twitter might not be too bad after all. Will I use it? No, because I am not a prominent member of society yet. See the thing is, Twitter does not maketh a man. It purely provides a platform for established and influential individuals to tweet about their lives. Tumblr on the other hand? I've been seeing tumblr updates on facebook and I know these people and right now it just seems that Tumblr is another excuse to start blogging again... for 3 weeks and then it'll probably just die off and hey, its another blog in the blog graveyard of the internet.

Offline Post #1

I really like my commutes to work. I know tons of people who simply detest taking public transportation, both here and back home in Malaysia. I mean, in Malaysia it was understandable since things like the LRT and Metro busses are always either late or jam packed with people. But even back in Malaysia, when I was working in the heart of KL and had to endure about an hour’s worth of bus and LRT rides I never really had violent objections.

Right now I live in Canterbury, one of the eastern suburbs in Melbourne and the commute to the city by tram takes about 50 minutes. In the mornings I usually just sleep the whole way through since I get up so early anyway, so might as well take an extra 50 minutes shut eye with music playing in my ear.

I normally carry a book, right now I have Great Expectations by Charles Dickens but I must confess that progress on the book has been really slow. I just haven’t been reading much during my commute. So what do I do then to spend 50 minutes on the tram? I do what I always do, simply enjoy my own company and I’ve been using that time to ponder about life, the universe and everything. And no, the answer contrary to popular belief is not 42.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely do not like being alone in life but at the same time I do enjoy my time away from everything. My solitude is hardly ever a bad thing. I do a lot of things to get away, I sometimes go to the beach, I climb hills and now since I’m so busy, I commute to work. It’s usually a very productive time for me, because I just use this time to troubleshoot my life, figuring out what makes me tick, trying to figure out people around me – basically just trying to figure out this whole proverbial mess that life seems to be.

I would say that I am a pretty good judge of character, my own character. I know myself pretty well, I know the things that I’m afraid of, the things that make me smile, the things that tick me off, the things that can shatter my defences in a split second. I have a pretty good idea of what I want in life, of what I can contribute to people, I know what I’d do in most situations, I know why I am the way I am right now. All of this has been mostly figured out in my commutes otherwise known as me-time. Think about it, I spend roughly 2 hours in a tram these days, previously about 2-3 hours in an LRT and metro bus. That gives me 24 hours of being nothing but pensive in just maybe 12 days. That’s a lot of time clocked into just using that noggin’ of mine.

I like that in the mornings before work I can just put on a worship CD and just spend that time with God, taking walks with Him in my head. Of course in those sanctified imaginary walks in my head, I have a business shirt and slacks on, which is a little weird to me, but God doesn’t seem to mind. Mostly in my commutes, something I want to do more this year is to just be completely comfortable and casual in the presence of God. No need for excessive hallelujahs and amens and other Christian mumbo-jumbo. Just popping in and out, saying hi to God, telling him what’s going on in my mind, asking for help and assistance or just basically sitting there, waiting, listening and expecting God to deposit something in me that will be of use to me and my fellow man.

My quiet time which is mostly done at home has always been the most exciting and most memorable part of my Christian life. I like camps, big events, concerts, prayer meetings and all that, but to be frank, the most significant chunk of my spiritual life happens in the times where I’m where I am now, sitting on my bed, with a quilt over my legs, silence from my usually perpetually on music, devotion book or bible on my side. QT has always been an exhilarating and always always productive time for me. I’ve been away from home(Malaysia) for almost a year now but I guess the reason why I’ve hardly felt a pinch of being homesick was because coming home to God after a day of work, leisure or pleasure or even debauchery has always been the real genuine thing. Coming home to where I belong.

Of course my quiet time can sometimes be as consistent as a Streamyx line, which sucks but whenever possible, I try. I like where I am now, being away from Adelaide, being away from a computer that is always online that I have more windows of opportunity to spend quality time with my Maker. I mean, apart from work in the morning, I really do have nothing much on my plate. Nothing I have to do, almost nowhere I have to be at and no one I have to meet. So I’ve been using that time with God and I must say, it has been incredibly productive.

One thing I want to do this year is read more bible. I usually rely too much on a devotional to get my bread for the day and while my devotional book has always been challenging and powerful, I feel that it is time to return to my fundamentals and just allow God to speak to me through His word. So yeah, more bible reading for me this year, something I need to acquire the discipline and hunger for again. Diving back into God’s convoluted yet mysteriously fulfilling collection of holy commentary and anointed sayings.

We’ll see how that goes.


No internet for a few days, this post was typed on the 20th.

Listenin' to : Umbrella Beach by Owl City

When you close your tired eyes I'll meet you there

~ Owl City - I'll Meet You There

Went for the Hit For Haiti tennis fundraiser thing today at the Rod Laver after Rentap church today. It was this ad hoc thing organized by Roger Federer and friends in lieu of the Haiti disaster. Like 10 bucks for a quick exhibition match featuring the likes of him, Rafa, Roddick(for a bit), Djokovic, Serena W, Kim Clijsters Lleyton Hewitt and some Aussie chick, Sam something. So yeah it as good value for 10 bucks being at centre court watching them play against each other in a very casual relaxed humorous fashion. So they mic-ed up everyone when they were playing and that resulted in it being more comedy than sports because the stars were joking around all the time. So yeah, bad thing about mic-ing up tennis players? You know how much they grunt and all that when they play? Amplify that and you have this afternoon's entertainment. Seriously, during the men's doubles it sounded like a group of gay men having very intense intercourse.


Caught up with Joshua for a bit after that for coffee which was good. It was awesome seeing how much he's grown since coming here.

So church today was good, we had Chris Hill who is very black in his preaching which I like. It was a good message about how people who feel afflicted, abandoned and unloved by God still can be used and produce good fruit. I liked what he said that when we look behind our shoulder, we see how much stronger we've been, that everything that was supposed to bring us down and take us out did not and in fact made us a lot more resilient.

Another thing I got today in church was about how different my relationship with God is now compared to how its been previously. I've read this before in my devotions but never really got it till now. It was how I realized that I don't ask for much these days, I still ask for things I want obviously, but its a lot less asking asking and asking like some kid who wants a new video game, but I'm more assured these days that God is good and that whatever I receive or comes my way, I know is best for me. Because God is good. And I know my Dad will always give me the best and always more than what I ask for.

Ten more day!!! I can't wait!!! :):):)

Listenin' to : Home Alone 2 in the background

If Church Becomes Less About God and More About Church, You Should Definitely Go To Church Less

Went to a really dodgy church service with my aunt just now. A bit too spiritual and it made me quite uncomfortable. Kinda like the church in Borat.

Got me thinking and also worrying quite a bit. What if Paul was still alive and visited my church. After he left, I wonder what letter he would have written to my church. Would he encourage the leaders, rebuke people because of greed, immorality, pride, sideways teachings? What would the book of Paradise, or the Book of CBC be like. Definitely some food for thought.

Today is day 3 at Edelman Melbourne. I have so much work its crazy. Its not like H&K where at least I had time to slack off and all that. But I like it here. For one, no media clippings. But I like it here. They do more corporate consulting and stuff which I find very interesting and I've been put on some very interesting clients. I've learned so much in these past 3 days, about the Australian media, about how things work and although the Melbourne office is pretty small, they've got generally pretty good people on the team. Today I spoke with the GM and he talked to me about his career and a little bit about Edelman. He gave me a piece of advice which I think is pretty cool and will hold close to me. He said "to get the most out of an agency, just keep throwing yourself into the deep end. Fake it all the way".

It is also the fourth day of being away from the most wonderful person in my life. It hasn't been the easiest of things and to be honest, I have so much I could write about how I'm finding this whole LDR thing but I just can't seem to put it into words. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't hurt to see, hear and feel how this is affecting her but I'm still positive about things. For one thing, I'm not sad about this whole thing, it just feels... weird not being able to come home to her. It feels weird not hearing her car pull up the driveway and I swear I sometimes think for a split second that after coming home from work, I would see her soon.

True i miss her loads, but the anticipation of seeing her in a couple of weeks far far far outweighs the longing I have for her.

I'm still happy, happy that I have her and my favourite time of the day is when I get off work and get to hear her voice on my mobile. I'm happy that I have gmail access at work and can chat with her in the office. I'm happy that I get to wish her goodnight and that she is the last person I hear before I roll off to sleep.

And in all things, I know that God is good. And that He will watch over and guard what we have.

This is the hardest thing I've done in my life. But at the same time, she remains the best thing i've ever done in my life as well, and our current state of affairs does not change that fact.

I love you and I miss you.


Listenin' to : nothing!